I stole this idea from Mark Warren. His website
I met Mark online in a IRC room about e-wrestling.
E-wrestling is a role playing based game played
online based on professional wrestling.
Oddly enough, neither Mark nor I have any real interest
in pro wrestling anymore.
Possibly even odder though, I asked my mother-in-law
for a subscription to Dave Meltzer's Wrestling Observer
for my birthday.
I hate professional basketball. I used to
like it, but once high school players started to
be accepted into the league, I lost interest.
I like just about any other sport. I follow
baseball and football the closest, though.
I honestly think, if given the opportunity, I could
handle being the general manager of a major league
If I could pick my profession, regardless of income,
general manager of a professional baseball team
would be it.
#2 would be owner of a music store.
I went to Hofstra University on two seperate occasions.
The first for two years, and the second for
I usually don't talk about the first two.
I probably never would have gone back to college
had I not had an asshole boss and a massive ego.
I felt that I was way smarter than he was,
and that if I accepted my place under him, then
I would probably end up killing myself. I
looked at the paperwork that I was doing, and decided
that I'd go back to school to be an accountant.
I quit the next day, and called my boss a stuttering
My major when I first went to Hofstra was communications.
My goal was to be an anchor on SportsCenter.
My decision to attend Hofstra was based on the fact
that Hofstra was relatively local, offered me a
scholarship, and hosted a sports show on SportsChannel.
When I went back to Hofstra, almost none of my credits
my first two years counted towards an accounting
I dropped accounting as a major after three semesters.
I took up BCIS (Business Computer Information Systems)
as a major after accounting, because I thought it
was easy and the accounting (and business) courses
I took counted towards the degree.
My fourth semester back at Hofstra I sat next to
a girl who was a former biochemistry major now majoring
I married her three years and nine months later.
I originally met her online. She IMed me because
she saw in my AOL profile that I went to Hofstra.
That was December 28th, 1997, exactly three years
and ten months before I married her.
She was in a serious relationship at the time.
She didn't tell me that.
Despite being together in one way or another for
all that time, we never really "went out"
or were in a relationship until we got engaged.
I credit the music of the Dave Matthews Band for
getting me through the times when we were apart,
and bringing us closer when we were together.
I think Dave Matthews is one of the most gifted
songwriters that I know.
When I was preparing for my wedding, I had two people
in mind for my best man.
I didn't pick either of them. Instead, I picked
I don't regret the choice. My brother-in-law
is a very good friend and a good man. One
of my choices ended up being a groomsman because
I wasn't sure if he'd be around come the wedding.
The other wasn't, and promptly blew off the
The groomsman I consider probably my best friend
(outside of my wife). The other I used to
consider my best friend, but I've spoken to him
once since the wedding.
I've never not lived on Long Island, New York. I've
lived now in Bridgehampton, Hempstead, East Meadow,
Hampton Bays, and back to Bridgehampton now.
I still hold the belief that if I went to a "regular"
school and played baseball in junior high school,
junior varsity, and varsity, I could have gotten
a scholarship to some college to play baseball.
My high school didn't have a baseball team, so I
was sent to a neighboring high school in a "share
program". This program didn't exist until
I was in 11th grade. I hadn't played baseball
in five years.
Baseball hall of famer Carl Yastrzemski went to
my high school with my father. The school
had a baseball team then.
My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut. My writing
is highly influenced by him.
My favorite Vonnegut book is "Breakfast Of
Champions", although "Player Piano"
is right up there along with it.
I had never read a Vonnegut book until I picked
up "Breakfast Of Champions" out of a display
at Tower Records while waiting in line to buy music.
I had no idea what it was about.
The two male names that were picked out for our
child were Nicholas Tyler and Tyler Vaughn. "Vaughn"
was a reference to Vonnegut.
"Kurt" was also a strong consideration,
which was a reference to Vonnegut and also to musician
I was driving home from Hofstra on the Long Island
Expressway when I found out Kurt Cobain committed
I love caffine, despite the fact that I don't think
it affects me that much.
I joined the fire department not because of 9/11,
but because I had friends in the fire department
and thought it would be something my father would
My father passed away from cancer June 7th, 1998.
He never saw me graduate college, get married
or join the fire department. He won't see
My father complained of pain Memorial Day weekend
and went to the emergency room. Five hours
later, the doctor met with my mother and I and explained
how he didn't understand how my father was alive.
My dad ended up living six more days in the hospital.
His last words to me were to get a job for
My wife never met my father. It's one of her
I have a fascination with Japanese culture. It
started because of Japanese pro wrestling.
If I didn't meet my wife, I'd probably be in Japan
I love to travel out of state. Las Vegas is
my favorite place to go, though.
I'll watch pretty much anything on television related
to Las Vegas.
My high school graduating class had 9 people in
I was one of two who were white.
I was class valedictorian, which doesn't sound as
impressive when you read #54.
I first experienced computers when I was five years
old in first grade.
I was skipped to first grade from kindergarten after
four days. I was reportedly supposed to be
skipped to second grade soon after, but my mother
felt that it would warp me socially.
I'm still warped socially, despite her efforts.
The first computer I ever used was a Commodore PET.
I was introduced to it via a math program.
By the time I was six, I was sitting in high
school classes in regards to the computers and programming
I can still program in BASIC, but that skill's kind
of useless now.
I used to play pinball while my mom bowled before
I was old enough to go to school. I eventually
got an award from the bowling league for pinball
after beating almost everyone who played me.
I once ran an air hockey table for 27 straight games.
Despite taking two years worth of communications
classes, the closest I ever came to the media was
a radio commercial I did while working as a high
school intern for a local radio station, and three
guest spots on a friend's wrestling radio show.
I eat a lot less of every kind of food than
I used to, EXCEPT for sushi.
If there was a local sushi eating contest, I would
enter it. I honestly believe I'd stand a chance.
I've eaten a golf ball sized ball of wasabi on a
When I was 19, I tore my upper and lower meniscus
in my right knee playing softball. I didn't
know that I did until I was 26, when I finally got
medical insurance and had someone look at it.
I broke my middle finger on my right hand twice,
and never had it fixed. It can now bend backwards
at the knuckle at a 45 degree angle.
I don't like candy. If I eat any candy, it's
either sour or has some kind of peanut butter content.
I was watching a Yankee game one day and decided
I needed a favorite player. I didn't want
it to be an obvious one, so I picked the guy who
crashed into the outfield wall chasing after a fly
ball. His name was Jay Buhner.
I got the nickname "Buhner" from a guy
at college my freshman year who didn't know my name
due to my shyness. I wore my Buhner Mariners
jersey all the time around the dorm, so he just
called me "Buhner".
A good percentage of my friends from college thought
my name actually _was_ "Tom Buhner".
I used to be a very good junior bowler. I've
got about a dozen or so bowling trophies from when
I was in my teenage years.
I've earned varsity letters from three different
high schools for four different sports, thanks to
share programs; baseball, basketball, bowling, and
I was invited to run cross country at Hofstra, but
I think just about anyone who played sports in high
school was invited.
Outside of my wife, I didn't have any other relationship
last more than 3 months.
I've fallen for two women that were in lesbian relationships
at the time.
I have a miniscule attention span.
My favorite kind of potato chips are Herr's Sour
Cream and Onion. I could eat an entire large
bag in one sitting.
I lick the coating off of chips before I eat them.
From the age of 15 to about the age of 25, I wore
baseball caps whenever possible. The only
time I took off my hat was when I was required to
for whatever reason.
Despite my wearing baseball caps for almost ten
years straight, I'm not bald, nor balding. Baldness
has nothing to do with hats. The baldness
usually comes before the hat.
For about a year or so, I tried growing out my hair.
It got past my ears. It looked like
shit, because it was (and still is) really thick,
and doesn't lay right.
My wife (whom I wasn't together with at the time)
told me I probably should cut it. I did that
I have a 12 gauge sterling silver earring in each
ear. I only take them out for job interviews.
I have a tattoo on my right bicep of kanji which
means "gifted and talented father". When
my son is born, I'll tattoo the date I lost my father
above it and the day my son was born below it.
I've had a goatee almost continuiously since 1993.
I grew it because I felt I had a babyface.
I'm shaving it off after the holiday season
just so my wife can see what I look like without
I have an inch-long scar under my chin from when
I fell out of my crib as a baby. You can't
see it when the goatee is there.
I love game shows, and would love to be on one day.
I was invited to an audition for the old ESPN
game show "2 Minute Drill", but I didn't
pass the written test with a high enough score.
When I first started talking to my future wife,
she mentioned that she was really good at Jeopardy!
After watching the show with her once, she
refused to play along with me for a while after
that. To this day, she makes me wait to see
if she knows the answer first before I answer.
I have a Monopoly obsession. I have various
Monopoly collectables, and to this day, tell you
the entire layout of the board from memory and the
rents and costs of each property.
I'm a pretty horrible basketball player for several
reasons. One of which may be the rim that
my parents put in the back yard for me to use growing
up. They stated that it was regulation heigh,
but in reality, was at least a foot too short, and
completely destroyed any shotmaking talent I developed
practicing on the home rim.
My mother wanted a boy when she was pregnant with
me. To ensure this, she only thought of girls
names, because by her logic, if she only thought
of girls names, she would have a boy.
Since there was no name picked out for me, I was
named after my father. However, since my father
didn't want me to be called "JR" through
my life, he changed my middle name to his father's
name, guaranteeing a future of confusion.
I was originally a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers.
I ended up becoming a fan of the Miami Dolphins
football team because my grandmother called me at
the age of six before one Christmas and asked me
what I wanted. When I told her I wanted a
Pittsburgh Steelers jacket, I was told that they
didn't have Pittsburgh stuff down in Florida (where
she lived), so if I wanted a football jacket, it
would have to be Miami. I've been a fan ever
I once worked as a timekeeper for a professional
wrestling show, despite having nothing to keep time
I was one of the shortest kids in my class until
the summer of 1989. I was 6'2" by 11th
grade. I haven't grown an inch since.
If our child was a girl, her name would have been
My favorite fruit in the world is a guava, despite
the fact that I've never eaten one.